Psychologist Karen Horney in her article "The Problem of the Monogamous Ideal", indicates that the overestimation of love leads to disillusionment; the desire to possess the partner results in the partner wanting to escape; and the friction against sex result in non-fulfillment.
Disillusionment plus the desire to escape plus non-fulfillment result in a secret hostility, which causes the other partner to feel alienated.
Kierkegaard addressed these ideas in works such as Either/Or and Stages on Life's Way.
Historically, the term romance originates with the medieval ideal of chivalry as set out in chivalric romance literature.
Shakespeare and Søren Kierkegaard share a similar viewpoint that marriage and romance are not harmoniously in tune with each other.
Noteworthy female freedom or power was an exception rather than the rule, though this is a matter of speculation and debate.
uses brain scans to show that love is the product of a chemical reaction in the brain.
The Tolstoy family focuses on the romantic limitations of marriage, and Anna Karenina prefers death to being married to her fiancé, however this is because she is tired of waiting and being hidden away from public, when her fiance makes failed attempts to get his mother's approval of the marriage.
Even being aristocrats did not make them both free, as the society was nevertheless equally binding for all.Fisher concludes that these reactions have a genetic basis, and therefore love is a natural drive as powerful as hunger.In his book What Women Want, What Men Want, anthropologist John Townsend takes the genetic basis of love one step further by identifying how the sexes are different in their predispositions.Townsend's compilation of various research projects concludes that men are susceptible to youth and beauty, whereas women are susceptible to status and security.These differences are part of a natural selection process where males seek many healthy women of childbearing age to mother offspring, and women seek men who are willing and able to take care of them and their children.Secret hostility in one and secret alienation in the other cause the partners to secretly hate each other.