If your guy is newly separated and in the process of getting the divorce finalized, you might want to check out Dating Advice: You, Him, and Not Quite Ex Wife!for extra advice on the special challenges a not-yet-divorced man poses. Your initial reaction to the idea of dating a divorced man might simply be – No thanks! The advantage of dating someone who has already been “down-the-aisle” is that in many aspects of our lives – we make mistakes, learn from them and try NOT to repeat them in the future.
Another common issue in many marriages is the allocation of resources, in other words, money and time.
Which areas in the family get the money and time first?
HOWEVER, keep in mind that kids can be very protective and even cruel! Don’t boss them around or act overly ‘motherly’, but do show interest and encourage them in the things they’re good at. Being ‘dad’s new girlfriend’ takes time getting used to, and they’ll probably resent you for taking their mom’s place. And don’t be upset if they don’t immediately like you. Also, keep in mind that the younger the children are, the easier it will be for you to start bonding with them.
They already have a mom and don’t want you as a new one! Older kids, especially teens, will be more likely to resist you.
Being around his kids can be a plus when it gives you the chance to experience what life with children is like – without having to have them yourself!
If you already have kids, this can provide a great way to bond with him – the children are something you have in common.Chances are, in a special-needs family, there is never enough money or time. Conflict on those priorities is a major source for friction.This is one reason why you’ve got to keep the communication lines as open as you can.And when dating is already so difficult, it’s truly a shame to let the possibility of good ones go! There is something visceral and terrifying about divorce for most “regular” humans, but for parents with fragile children, the stakes go WAY up, and, as I’ve been separated from my husband of 10 years for the past three years (most people assume I’m divorced since I legally changed my name back) those fears simmer just below the surface for me all the time. Chances are good that you’ve heard the statistics: Eighty percent of marriages of parents of children with autism end in divorce.In all types of relationships there are various sets of problems.