As funny as that analogy might be, it’s not entirely true; well, not for happy and successful long-term relationships.
The people we choose to spend our time with, whether fillers or not, become the ones that our fill lives, so keep a refined list of Must Haves and Can’t Stands in hand at all times. Not every relationship should be abandoned when fumbling toward commitment, especially if you’ve got broad-based compatibility and things seem to be going relatively well. Relationships are unions to be monitored and assessed periodically, even after marriage.
However, there comes a certain point in every long-term relationship when one partner questions where it’s going. It’s best to be on as much on the same page from Day One as Day One-Million-and-One.
Over time if you’re having talks that lead nowhere but a high level of personal dissatisfaction, you may have to think about your relationship in the greater context of your life. If your answers are unequivocal “no’s,” you may have to gather all of your resolve and make the decision to leave.
As much as you may love someone, are they or will they be able to give you what you need to be happy? The perfect partner will want you as much as you want them.
Despite high levels of chemistry, a relationship without shared compatibility is a surefire road to dissatisfaction on the other side of the “honeymoon period.” The throes of lust and liking usually only last up through eight months to a year, tops. Right Now, knowing fully that they are not the marrying kind is a recipe for disaster.
And the worst part is that sometimes these kind of relationships drag on well past their due, prolonging the frustration and boredom experienced by both partners. Serial daters take up with “fillers” until something better comes along, but nothing does.The Mechanics of Serial Dating Tell any group of women a joke about noncommittal men and you’ll get some snickers and cynical comments, but there’s nothing funny about being mixed up with a true noncommittal partner.It’s painful to lose your heart to someone who’s just not entirely there for you the way that you are willing to be for them. Romantic rejection experienced early on or observed early on in dysfunctional families growing up can lead people down a path of avoiding the kind of close, intimate relationships that they really long for deep within their hearts.There are countless relationships between two ultimately incompatible people ranging from “just dating” to living together—and even married—that are empty ventures drifting into nowhere. So there they stand, afraid to be alone but mortified by the idea of being spending the rest of their lives with the person they’re with.Take it one step further as time marches on and two very incompatible people can end up committing to one another because they both feel obligated because of how much time they’ve spent together.No amount of hoping, wishing, praying and ultimatum declaring, ladies, will make him yours ’til death do you part if he’s not there yet.